We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize