I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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We had sex on a dog bed..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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