he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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