Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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