You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize