what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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