Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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