you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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