You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize