Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Randomize
Follow @tfln