when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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