belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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