And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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