I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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