there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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