i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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