my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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