Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize