I heard we made out
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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