Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
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woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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