i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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