Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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