he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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