Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

ok, come over...I have doritos

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(201): Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home... (1-201): ok, come over...I have doritos http://tfl.nu/32vm

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go

(860): View more from Connecticut

Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head

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(203): There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go (860): Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head http://tfl.nu/c9x5

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(415): View more from California

I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

(512): View more from Texas

Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

(415): View more from California

Watch for tornadoes.

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(415): I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana? (512): Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought. (415): Watch for tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/7qwf

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(760): View more from California

There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.

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(760): There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours. http://tfl.nu/m1ds

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.

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(917): I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina. http://tfl.nu/mdvg

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(972): View more from Texas

they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

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(972): they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE! http://tfl.nu/deur

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(512): View more from Texas

you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

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(512): you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator http://tfl.nu/ic52

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(315): View more from New York

We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."

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(315): We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah." http://tfl.nu/z1lt

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(973): View more from New Jersey

hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination

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(973): hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination http://tfl.nu/nh5d

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.

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(814): yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/s4gw

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(503): View more from Oregon

some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

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(503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao

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(914): View more from New York

Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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(914): Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls. http://tfl.nu/u1ub

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(808): View more from Hawaii

To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.

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(808): To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer. http://tfl.nu/dw2q

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(240): View more from Maryland

I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob

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(240): I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob http://tfl.nu/qz5h

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(302): View more from Delaware

I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay

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(302): I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay http://tfl.nu/8522

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