Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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