There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
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We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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