I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize