i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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