wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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