Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
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I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
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I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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