WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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