Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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