what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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