You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize