I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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