how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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