I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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