On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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