that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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