I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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