i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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