Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
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Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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