My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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