drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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