it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize