his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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