i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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