im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize