and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
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well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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