Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize