I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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